April 29th, 2009 Uncertainty
I can understand the attraction that drives the conservative/evangelical mindset, desiring “certainty” to the point where they’ll defend their literalist beliefs against all comers, not to mention all rationality, to preserve it.
I have never faced that kind of uncertainty in my faith. My relationship with God is as close and personal as the beating of my heart.
But I have definitely, over the last few months, faced uncertainty over my continued physical presence on this ‘ol Earth. And that led me to examine what I’ve done, and more importantly left undone, in my life. The thought that I might leave without ensuring my daughter’s future, without speaking to my sons, daughter-in-law and grandchildren again, making sure they knew how I felt about them, without having made provision for my mother’s care; all these things run through one’s mind while sitting in a hospital bed with tubes and tests and surgery and consultations go on all around.
I have been fortunate. My uncertainty is now limited to whether or not these treatments will be as effective as all hope, and whether or not my next session will be as smooth (read “no upchucking”) as has been the case.
And to whether or not I have done enough to ensure that others understand one of the most important factors in my approach to this whole experience – my relationship with the Creator of all Things.
David
